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<html lang="zh"><head><title>关于感情的事情</title><meta charset="utf-8"/><link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.googleapis.com"/><link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com"/><link rel="stylesheet" href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=IBM Plex Mono&family=Noto Serif Simplified Chinese:wght@400;700&family=Source Sans Pro:ital,wght@0,400;0,600;1,400;1,600&display=swap"/><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0"/><meta property="og:title" content="关于感情的事情"/><meta property="og:description" content="听到董宇辉谈初恋和朋友的两段感情经历,让我思考感情需要在物质基础上建立精神富足。要珍惜当下,善始善终,处理好旧感情再开始新感情。爱自己,爱他人,相信终将拥有幸福生活。."/><meta property="og:image" content="https://wiki.7wate.com/static/og-image.png"/><meta property="og:width" content="1200"/><meta property="og:height" content="675"/><link rel="icon" href="../../../static/icon.png"/><meta name="description" content="听到董宇辉谈初恋和朋友的两段感情经历,让我思考感情需要在物质基础上建立精神富足。要珍惜当下,善始善终,处理好旧感情再开始新感情。爱自己,爱他人,相信终将拥有幸福生活。."/><meta name="generator" content="Quartz"/><link href="../../../index.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" spa-preserve/><link href="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/KaTeX/0.16.9/katex.min.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" spa-preserve/><script src="../../../prescript.js" type="application/javascript" spa-preserve></script><script type="application/javascript" spa-preserve>const fetchData = fetch("../../../static/contentIndex.json").then(data => data.json())</script></head><body data-slug="Personal/Blog/2022/关于感情的事情"><div id="quartz-root" class="page"><div id="quartz-body"><div class="left sidebar"><h2 class="page-title"><a href="../../..">🪴 X·Eden</a></h2><div class="spacer mobile-only"></div><div class="search"><button class="search-button" id="search-button"><p>搜索</p><svg role="img" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 19.9 19.7"><title>Search</title><g class="search-path" fill="none"><path stroke-linecap="square" d="M18.5 18.3l-5.4-5.4"></path><circle cx="8" cy="8" r="7"></circle></g></svg></button><div id="search-container"><div id="search-space"><input autocomplete="off" id="search-bar" name="search" type="text" aria-label="搜索些什么" placeholder="搜索些什么"/><div id="search-layout" data-preview="true"></div></div></div></div><button class="darkmode" id="darkmode"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" version="1.1" id="dayIcon" x="0px" y="0px" viewBox="0 0 35 35" style="enable-background:new 0 0 35 35" xml:space="preserve" aria-label="暗色模式"><title>暗色模式</title><path d="M6,17.5C6,16.672,5.328,16,4.5,16h-3C0.672,16,0,16.672,0,17.5 S0.672,19,1.5,19h3C5.328,19,6,18.328,6,17.5z M7.5,26c-0.414,0-0.789,0.168-1.061,0.439l-2,2C4.168,28.711,4,29.086,4,29.5 C4,30.328,4.671,31,5.5,31c0.414,0,0.789-0.168,1.06-0.44l2-2C8.832,28.289,9,27.914,9,27.5C9,26.672,8.329,26,7.5,26z M17.5,6 C18.329,6,19,5.328,19,4.5v-3C19,0.672,18.329,0,17.5,0S16,0.672,16,1.5v3C16,5.328,16.671,6,17.5,6z M27.5,9 c0.414,0,0.789-0.168,1.06-0.439l2-2C30.832,6.289,31,5.914,31,5.5C31,4.672,30.329,4,29.5,4c-0.414,0-0.789,0.168-1.061,0.44 l-2,2C26.168,6.711,26,7.086,26,7.5C26,8.328,26.671,9,27.5,9z M6.439,8.561C6.711,8.832,7.086,9,7.5,9C8.328,9,9,8.328,9,7.5 c0-0.414-0.168-0.789-0.439-1.061l-2-2C6.289,4.168,5.914,4,5.5,4C4.672,4,4,4.672,4,5.5c0,0.414,0.168,0.789,0.439,1.06 L6.439,8.561z M33.5,16h-3c-0.828,0-1.5,0.672-1.5,1.5s0.672,1.5,1.5,1.5h3c0.828,0,1.5-0.672,1.5-1.5S34.328,16,33.5,16z M28.561,26.439C28.289,26.168,27.914,26,27.5,26c-0.828,0-1.5,0.672-1.5,1.5c0,0.414,0.168,0.789,0.439,1.06l2,2 C28.711,30.832,29.086,31,29.5,31c0.828,0,1.5-0.672,1.5-1.5c0-0.414-0.168-0.789-0.439-1.061L28.561,26.439z M17.5,29 c-0.829,0-1.5,0.
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<blockquote>
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<p>当时我一直觉得肯定是因为我没有钱，才给两个人平添了那么多的痛苦。其实我后来觉得不一定、不一定，可能那刻我既没有钱，也没有其他的东西。</p>
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<p>那时候我也没有丰富的思想，也没有深刻的智慧，也没有跟别人交流时候体现出一种让人舒服的态度，什么都没有。</p>
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<p>现在我再看自己当时就像一个摆烂的青年一样，什么都没有。却要求这世界一如既往的包容我，却要求身边的人照单接受地去接纳我。</p>
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<p>只要他们不愿意，我就说是他们不好。</p>
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<p>指责多容易呀，我们都喜欢做容易地事情，就是职责别人，对吧？</p>
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<p>现在觉得其实可能当时并不是因为我没钱，因为好多年后你还是没钱，所以可能跟钱地关系不大。</p>
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<p>你即给不了生活上的安全感，其实很多时候你也给不了精神上的陪伴。你不够有吸引力、你没有什么美丽；坦诚来说，因为你读了足够多的爱情故事，所以你就会发现其实幸福的爱情里头，金钱不是最重要的。它可以是因素之一，但它不是唯一。它是之一，它不是唯一。</p>
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<p>我们都喜欢一个非常健全完美的人，不能把爱情等于金钱，所以后来我就懂了……</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>还有最近我接触到身边朋友的两个故事，关于感情的，大致如下：</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>朋友 A</p>
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<p>背景：A 年少辍学跟随父亲多年打拼，又恰逢家里拆迁，随后父母包办婚姻，孕育两子，A 的妻子主职家庭夫妇，其姐姐曾多次再婚。</p>
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<p>离婚原因不清楚，婚姻期间家庭矛盾不断。听来 A 说来得知主要原因是妻子太过悠闲，加上其姐姐的影响。在一次争吵下，一气之下签了离婚合同。</p>
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<p>合同内容大致如下：A 获得儿子抚养权，女方获得女儿抚养权。A 一次性赋予 18.8w 抚养费 + 108 平房产，并由女方承担所有抚养权，无探视无任何联系（合同暂未履行）。</p>
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<p>当时 A 以为是开玩笑了，觉得还会复合再加上法盲，觉得无所谓……女方因为其姐姐“经验丰富”所以可以理解为有备而来。</p>
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<hr/>
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<p>A 离婚后一个月认识现任妻子（无婚姻历史）并怀孕，期间曾想过打掉，但是女方坚持留下。</p>
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<hr/>
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<p>A 被前妻起诉，期间没能藏住被现任妻子发现。现任妻随有想法打掉孩子，但是客观原因无法打掉。A 的离婚官司被法院要求一个月内履行，A 无可奈何。现任妻子家人也是拒绝接受 A ……</p>
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<p>A 一直很苦闷，后来也未去了解更多。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>分享这个故事不是背后讨论朋友的选择，只是坚定的认为，感情上的事情务必一定善始善终，处理好自己，干干净净的去迎接下一份感情。</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>朋友 B</p>
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<p>背景：酒局上认识朋友的朋友，无过多了解，单方面倾听得来的。</p>
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<p>B 和妻子从男女朋友开始就比较坎坷，双方出身都挺贫困，后努力努力再努力终于走进婚姻的殿堂。</p>
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<p>由于物质基础并不好，B 极度的想要给妻子更好的生活，期间尝试创业和不断换工作。但是生活依旧不如所愿，将生活推向了更低谷。</p>
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<p>B 和妻子面对这生活的不如意，就如一句话：夫妻本是同林鸟、大难临头各自飞。随后 B 和妻子争夺孩子抚养权，打了 3 年官司，都已经麻木了……</p>
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<p>B 说：我努力为了这个家，是为了追求我想要的生活，她陪着我奋斗也是为了想要的生活。但是生活越过越不如意，人总不能在一颗树上吊死呀。</p>
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<p>但是我生活已经破灭了，活着感受不到希望，只剩下眼前的这两个孩子。也许真是贫贱夫妻百事衰……</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>当代大家都有追求幸福生活的方式，你不能祈求的另一半陪你一起奋斗，就如你不能否定女方要车子、要房子是不对的。没有物质基础的感情就是一盘散沙，柴米油盐酱醋茶更会抹去鲜花的浪漫。</p>
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<p>十字路口相遇，谁也不能保证下个十字路口是否会分开，但是如果当下我还牵着你的手的话，那就好好珍惜在一起的时光。</p>
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<p>相遇不容易、相守更难。物质基础很重要，精神富足也少不了。丰富自己的思想，并去拥有深刻的智慧；学会热爱生活，并为之奋斗。但不要委屈求全，更不要弄丢自己。一份感情不快乐、甚至不幸福的话，那她一定不适合你。</p>
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<p>要拿得起放得下，学会爱自己再去爱她人。新事物必将取代旧事物，我们终将拥有幸福生活。</p>
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