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<html><head><title>谈性说爱：写给女性的性心理24讲</title><meta charSet="utf-8"/><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0"/><meta property="og:title" content="谈性说爱：写给女性的性心理24讲"/><meta property="og:description" content="现代社会，女性的社会地位与自我认知都得到了很大提升，但在性的问题上，依然存在很多说不清道不明的羞耻感。性一直都属于禁忌话题，虽然不说或者很少说，但现实生活中，对性的理解与认知会在很大程度上影响女性的亲密关系幸福度，理解或认知不当甚至会造成悲剧。 《谈性说爱》一书作者甄宏丽深耕女性性心理治疗与科普领域，深谙中国女性的性困境，书中从揭开女性的身体奥秘开始，讲述了女性性生理和性心理唇齿相依的关系；强调了尊重性本能的重要意义；对性与爱的关系、性与亲密关系等敏感话题展开了详细分析，阐述了全新的观念：性与爱合久必分，分久必合。作者在书的最后指出，懂性、爱性是性福女人的基石，活出性感真我是女性魅力的核心。 对于中国的新女性来说，需要这么一本书来刷新自己在性问题上的认知，补上这堂迟来的性教育课。."/><meta property="og:image" content="https://wiki.7wate.com/static/og-image.png"/><meta property="og:width" content="1200"/><meta property="og:height" content="675"/><link rel="icon" href="../../../static/icon.png"/><meta name="description" content="现代社会，女性的社会地位与自我认知都得到了很大提升，但在性的问题上，依然存在很多说不清道不明的羞耻感。性一直都属于禁忌话题，虽然不说或者很少说，但现实生活中，对性的理解与认知会在很大程度上影响女性的亲密关系幸福度，理解或认知不当甚至会造成悲剧。 《谈性说爱》一书作者甄宏丽深耕女性性心理治疗与科普领域，深谙中国女性的性困境，书中从揭开女性的身体奥秘开始，讲述了女性性生理和性心理唇齿相依的关系；强调了尊重性本能的重要意义；对性与爱的关系、性与亲密关系等敏感话题展开了详细分析，阐述了全新的观念：性与爱合久必分，分久必合。作者在书的最后指出，懂性、爱性是性福女人的基石，活出性感真我是女性魅力的核心。 对于中国的新女性来说，需要这么一本书来刷新自己在性问题上的认知，补上这堂迟来的性教育课。."/><meta name="generator" content="Quartz"/><link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.googleapis.com"/><link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com"/><script async src="https://umami.7wate.com/script.js" data-website-id="c061efdc-95dd-4d21-9d04-a1ffda0a85b9"></script><script>
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<ul>
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<li><strong>书名</strong>：《谈性说爱：写给女性的性心理24讲》</li>
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<li><strong>作者</strong>： 甄宏丽</li>
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<li><strong>分类</strong>： 心理-认知与行为</li>
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<li><strong>ISBN</strong>：9787521743241</li>
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<li><strong>出版社</strong>：中信出版集团</li>
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</ul>
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<h2 id="概述">概述<a aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1" href="#概述" class="internal"> §</a></h2>
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<p>现代社会，女性的社会地位与自我认知都得到了很大提升，但在性的问题上，依然存在很多说不清道不明的羞耻感。性一直都属于禁忌话题，虽然不说或者很少说，但现实生活中，对性的理解与认知会在很大程度上影响女性的亲密关系幸福度，理解或认知不当甚至会造成悲剧。 《谈性说爱》一书作者甄宏丽深耕女性性心理治疗与科普领域，深谙中国女性的性困境，书中从揭开女性的身体奥秘开始，讲述了女性性生理和性心理唇齿相依的关系；强调了尊重性本能的重要意义；对性与爱的关系、性与亲密关系等敏感话题展开了详细分析，阐述了全新的观念：性与爱合久必分，分久必合。作者在书的最后指出，懂性、爱性是性福女人的基石，活出性感真我是女性魅力的核心。 对于中国的新女性来说，需要这么一本书来刷新自己在性问题上的认知，补上这堂迟来的性教育课。</p>
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<h2 id="划线">划线<a aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1" href="#划线" class="internal"> §</a></h2>
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<blockquote>
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<p>把处女膜献给我未来的丈夫。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>处女膜是长在我身上的，是属于我的，我想什么时候拿出来用就用，处女膜绝不是我留着献给男人的礼物”。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>女性太压抑自己的性欲望，不敢放开自己。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>“不要性骚扰，要性高潮！”</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>性爱是两个平等、独立的主体间的双人舞。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>处女膜的概念属于性医学范畴；婚前性行为属于社会学范畴；体会性冲动的兴奋程度属于性生理学范畴；要不要发生婚前性行为属于性心理学和性教育学范畴；坚守处女情结，婚后因为怕疼无法完成性生活，属于性心理治疗学范畴。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>中国女性追求性福已经不再遮遮掩掩，但是她们的性生活满意度很低依然是个不争的事实。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>性道德、性权利、性价值观等核心问题上依然存在严重的男尊女卑观念。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>生理、心理、社会</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>生殖器官正常存在，才能让我们拥有性别身份，即是男还是女。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>为什么会有处女膜这个名字？实际上这是男权社会用来管理女人的一种手段。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>“处女”这个词，已经不仅仅局限于没有发生过性行为的女性这个概念了。它衍生出的意义是，任何非常值得珍惜的第一次经历。这是非常美好的概念。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>第一，性道德观点压抑女性性能力。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>第二，女性对自己的定位存在偏差。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>第三，很多女性认为只有在爱的基础上才有权利享受性愉悦，也就是所谓的性和爱是不可分割的。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>第四，有的女性觉得自己性魅力不够。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>因此，女性在性爱中长期处于一种被检验的状态，无法自然放松下来，脑子里充满问号：他觉得我的胸够大吗？他觉得我的皮肤白皙吗？我的腿太粗了吧？我的臀部是下垂的，他发现了吧？等等。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>真正男女平等、彼此尊重的和谐社会，对于男性和女性应该是同样的标准，男女的性权利都值得尊重，男女的性行为都不可以乱来，都要有做人的行为底线，都有权利获得性愉悦，都有权利获得性的隐私保护，等等。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>客观地去感受，积极地去接纳。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>吃甜品不仅可以疏解消极情绪，还可以产生积极情绪。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>人类最大的性器官可能被我们忽视了，那就是皮肤。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>我们知道了皮肤是人类最大的性器官，当你想要被拥抱，或者想去触碰对方的时候，是有一种明显的性需求在里面的，不要去否定它。我们要抓住这种信号，让自己更加鲜活起来。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>性与爱是分久必合、合久必分的关系。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>我个人认为，分久必合、合久必分的观点，恰恰体现了性与爱之间的和谐，但性和爱又是完全不同的两个东西。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>青春期时对某个人的爱慕，就像一股清流，让人感到新奇而美妙，这种精神世界的美好已经让人很满足，不需要通过性交实现。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>男性从来都是把性能力放在第一位，这种性能力就是接受刺激就要勃起，对女性就得征服，不能输，要是阳痿那就完了。所以，在男性看来，性能力是高于性道德的。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>只要女性不再自己物化自己，就有可能真正地实现男女平等。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>女性面对自己喜欢的男性，容易活在自己的想象中，</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>受中国几千年封建文化的影响，女性把自己物化，男性也把女性物化了。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>赤裸裸地坦诚相对，是恋人走进彼此内心世界的唯美途径，是其他任何关系都无法替代的。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>这里的熟女指的是懂得了人间情爱滋味的女人。这种在岁月中成长起来的魅力，实际上是源于懂男人。所谓懂男人，其实很大程度上是懂得男人的需求，懂得他们喜欢什么样的女性魅力。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>现实生活中我们也看到，如果女性有了婚外性行为，大多数丈夫都会选择离婚，而且很多女性也能接受离婚的现实，甚至有可能是女性主动提出离婚。很多人都问过我为什么会这样。其实这一点都不奇怪，跟我们传统性观念中性道德的男女双重标准有关。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
|
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<p>社会约束男性和女性的性道德有双重标准。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>。为什么女性对其他方面的包容度极高，而对婚外性行为零容忍呢？婚后的守贞难道是丈夫们的护身符吗？可以抵过其他所有的婚姻义务？婚姻意味着你们是合理合法的性伴侣、经济收入与债务的共同承担者、孩子的父母，有很多功能，我们不能把性看得这么重。</p>
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>丈夫跟妻子谈论性话题，会显得很没面子（应该直接干就行了），妻子跟丈夫谈论性话题，又会很不好意思。</p>
|
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</blockquote>
|
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<blockquote>
|
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<p>无论是男性还是女性，我们都应该关注亲密动作——亲密动作可以表示好感，表示相互的安慰，表示相互的喜欢，也可以表示相互的性的需要。</p>
|
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</blockquote>
|
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<blockquote>
|
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<p>用激情换来的相互了解与和谐平稳，那种互相熟悉的默契，是常年在一起的伴侣特有的。这种默契可能是一个眼神对方就知道你要什么，或者说通过女性体位的小小的变化，伴侣都能知道你有没有兴致，等等</p>
|
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</blockquote>
|
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<blockquote>
|
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|
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<p>只有外阴也润滑了，才是足够润滑，这是性兴奋导致的润滑液的分泌。</p>
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</blockquote>
|
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<h2 id="笔记">笔记<a aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1" href="#笔记" class="internal"> §</a></h2>
|
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<blockquote>
|
|||
|
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<p>有时候你可能特别想抱抱</p>
|
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</blockquote>
|
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|
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<p>💭 没事多拥抱身边的人</p>
|
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<blockquote>
|
|||
|
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<p>如果你在恋爱之前对自己的评价分数能够达到 80 分以上，也就是说你绝大多数时候是接纳自己的、是自信的，那你就基本处于心理健康的状态。</p>
|
|||
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</blockquote>
|
|||
|
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<p>💭 你愿意嫁给你自己么</p>
|
|||
|
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<h2 id="书评">书评<a aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1" href="#书评" class="internal"> §</a></h2>
|
|||
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<h2 id="点评">点评<a aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1" href="#点评" class="internal"> §</a></h2></article></div><div class="right sidebar"><div class="graph "><h3>Graph View</h3><div class="graph-outer"><div id="graph-container" data-cfg="{"drag":true,"zoom":true,"depth":1,"scale":1.1,"repelForce":0.5,"centerForce":0.3,"linkDistance":30,"fontSize":0.6,"opacityScale":1,"showTags":true,"removeTags":[]}"></div><svg version="1.1" id="global-graph-icon" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlnsXlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" x="0px" y="0px" viewBox="0 0 55 55" fill="currentColor" xmlSpace="preserve"><path d="M49,0c-3.309,0-6,2.691-6,6c0,1.035,0.263,2.009,0.726,2.86l-9.829,9.829C32.542,17.634,30.846,17,29,17
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s-2-0.897-2-2s0.897-2,2-2S47,39.897,47,41z M49,10c-2.206,0-4-1.794-4-4s1.794-4,4-4s4,1.794,4,4S51.206,10,49,10z"></path></svg></div><div id="global-graph-outer"><div id="global-graph-container" data-cfg="{"drag":true,"zoom":true,"depth":-1,"scale":0.9,"repelForce":0.5,"centerForce":0.3,"linkDistance":30,"fontSize":0.6,"opacityScale":1,"showTags":true,"removeTags":[]}"></div></div></div><div class="toc desktop-only"><button type="button" id="toc" class><h3>Table of Contents</h3><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="fold"><polyline points="6 9 12 15 18 9"></polyline></svg></button><div id="toc-content"><ul class="overflow"><li class="depth-0"><a href="#简介" data-for="简介">简介</a></li><li class="depth-0"><a href="#概述" data-for="概述">概述</a></li><li class="depth-0"><a href="#划线" data-for="划线">划线</a></li><li class="depth-0"><a href="#笔记" data-for="笔记">笔记</a></li><li class="depth-0"><a href="#书评" data-for="书评">书评</a></li><li class="depth-0"><a href="#点评" data-for="点评">点评</a></li></ul></div></div><div class="backlinks "><h3>Backlinks</h3><ul class="overflow"><li>No backlinks found</li></ul></div><div class="explorer mobile-only"><button type="button" id="explorer" data-behavior="collapse" data-collapsed="collapsed" data-savestate="true" data-tree="[{"path":"Journal","collapsed":true},{"path":"Journal/2024","collapsed":true},{"path":"Journal/2024/W33","collapsed":true},{"path":"Obsidian","collapsed":true},{"path":"Obsidian/Templates","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog/2018","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog/2020","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog/2021","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog/2022","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog/2023","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Blog/2024","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/个人成长","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/医学健康","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/历史","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/哲学宗教","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/心理","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/政治军事","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/教育学习","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/文学","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/生活百科","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/社会文化","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/科学技术","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/经济理财","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/艺术","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Book/计算机","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Journal","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Journal/2022","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Journal/2022/W34","collapsed":true},{"path":"Personal/Journal/2022/W35","collapsed&qu
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